Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides) Paperback – 1 Sept. 2015

I got my book today and although I have not read it yet for obviously reasons, the book itself came in mint condition and I am very happy! 😃The condition of my book especially if I have ordered a brand new book is important to me, as is its contents.There is nothing nicer than the feeling of opening up a brand new book and reading through the fresh crisp pages.I will write an update on its contents once I have read the book, however I purchased this on the recommendation on a therapist so that in itself is a thumbs up!

Good book. Liked it

I was sitting in an Amazon Web Services workshop and, as an after lunch ice breaker, the workshop leader asked us to all name our latest purchase from Amazon. I had no idea what mine was and when I looked it turned out to be Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. I grinned and announced that I had bought after a recommendation from my boss. While true, it still got the laughter I was looking for.It wasn’t, well at least I hope it wasn’t, recommended to me as I am angry or violent in my communication, but I was certainly struggling with some of the people related parts of my role as a Team Lead of a software engineering team. However, reading the book made me realise that I was struggling with:ObservationsFeelingsNeedsRequestsNot just with respect to other people, but for myself as well. The book helped me use these, along with a deeper understanding of what empathy is and how to use it, to understand better what is really being communicated when we talk with people. When resolving conflict we often look for compromise, but the book helped me understand that what is really needed is to find a way for all parties involved to have their needs fully met.On several occasions I found myself able to relate directly what the book was telling me to situations I have found myself in.In one of the later chapters there’s a description of two software engineers in conflict over maintaining an old system or replacing it with a new one. Neither engineer was listening to the needs of the other.When someone tells me a story of something which has happened to them I am usually keen to retort with a similar story of something that has happened to me. The book helped me understand that this is not demonstrating empathy and I am gradually trying to fight the urge.One of the first things the book teaches is that just because someone does something you don’t like, like cutting you up when driving or making a decision you don’t agree with, you shouldn’t give them a negative label, like idiot or moron. It doesn’t help them and it doesn’t help you. Instead remember that we don’t always understand what is causing someone to behave in that way and that acts we perceive as bad don’t make a person bad.I am a big fan of The One Minute Manager. At one point I thought that the Nonviolent Communication book was suggesting that One Minute praisings are shallow and manipulative, so I reacquainted myself with them (they’re part of a poster I have on my wall). I discovered that both books are in alignment, because when you praise someone you should be able to clearly explain how what they did met a need you had.After I finished the book, one of my colleagues asked me if it was one of those self help books which laboured the same point over and over and could have been shorter. While there is a theme throughout, each chapter looks at a different aspect of Nonviolent Communication, with everything from empathy to how to express anger.

How can I explain and talk about my emotions more?How can I make sure that when I talk to people and don’t hurt them?I recently read this book by Marshall B. Rosenberg, which is called “non-violent communication – the language of life”The book provides a process known as compassionate communication or NVCThe NVC process provides four components: 1. Observations, 2. Feelings, 3. Needs, and 4. RequestsWhich break down intoThe concrete actions we observe that affect our well-beingHow we feel in relation to what we observeThe needs, value, desires, etc that create our feelingsThe concrete actions we request in order to enrich our livesI love the frameworks, the case studies, the examples of wording we use to pass moralistic judgements, make comparisons, deny responsibility and other forms of life alienating communication. How to observe without evaluating, identifying and expressing feelings, with a vocabulary for feelings, taking responsibility for our feelings, receiving empathically, how to be empathic in communication.With the final chapters on conflict resolution and mediation, it’s certainly a book I can say I will read many times.Thanks to @Lenwood Ross for recommending this book.

I can tell that during the spiritual journey of my life in the last 6 years lots of very good/interesting book came to my attention but Non Violent Communication is a "game changer". Having seen just in my social circle the main problem what most people in our fast paced society struggling with (lack of knowledge to express emotions correctly) I can firmly believe that this book could change everyone's life. Because it is already changed mine: after years and years of constant argument and verbal abuse in my relationship (what I am not very proud of at all) I was able to express myself 3 times in the last 3 weeks in a way when my needs were being met and we were able to find solutions of our problem with my partner. The actual examples/conversations in the book helped me a lot to have a better understanding what this technique is based on (emotional empathy on a deep level) and also to use these expressions in every day conversations with everyone when it is needed to connect to that person emotionally to solve a problem. I will definitely have a look of the bibliography of the author to find other useful reading materials like this book.

Marshall can seem abrupt and brusk on videos I’ve seen, but it’s clear from the book that it’s all in aid of solving peoples problems and not beating around the bush, wasting time, and getting bogged down in insult throwing.This book is a step by step towards compassionate communication and I’m hoping that it will help me to be kinder and more understanding to myself and support others in conflict.Marshall also includes lots of real life examples to help you see how an ideal can work under the pressures of real life. It won’t be easy to put everything into practice but it’s worth a try!

I’d also recommend his audio book.