The New Contented Little Baby Book: The Secret to Calm and Confident Parenting Paperback – 6 April 2006

Like any clueless first-time mother-to-be, I swallowed up on as much baby material as I could possibly get my hands on.However, there are only two user-friendly books which I constantly refer to and which I strongly urge first-time parents to read.They are Gina Ford's "The contented little baby book" and "Nanny Wisdom" (Justine Walsh and Kim Nicholson). They are packed with no-nonsense, straight-to-the-point information that will prove more useful than any other.Gina Ford's fifteen-minute-stint routine is a bit extreme, but combined with "Nanny Wisdom"'s more flexible ones, you should be able to work out the ideal routine which works for your own family.If you stick consistently to the basic feeding and sleeping schedules (and I underline "consistently" with the odd exception to allow for disruptions in your agenda), your can make a world of a difference in your parental experience.You must choose an approach which works both for you and your baby because neither will benefit from a woolly agenda, fizzled-out parents and babies who squeal hours on end because their basic needs are loosely seen to.Plotting out a schedule and following it with ruthless precision has kept us all sane through the mayhem of sleepless nights, jarring colicky spells, swelling breasts and a severe case of baby blues.Both books advocate that children thrive on routines and rituals because having an idea of what the day will be like makes them feel more secure. And routines are a godsend for parents too, because you can schedule your appointments and outings between feedings and napping times.You also know that after 7 or 7.30 P.M., once your little bundle of joy is punctually put to rest, you'll have the rest of the evening to wind down with your husband watching a film, catching up on each other's day or simply reading a book.The controlled-crying method which so many parents abhorr is not a torture you cruelly inflinge on your baby. You are bequeathing him the great gift of learning to sleep unaided by himself and get the so much needed rest that will help him cope with ever more active days.My now eleven-month-old boy has been sleeping through the night since week six and glided more or less uneventfully through teething, weaning, outings and holidays abroad. Like any other baby, he has his days, but in general he's not a fussy eater non sleeper and will eat virtually anywhere: on the stroller, in a crowded café, on a plane and in portable cribs in hotels or at friends'. People often compliment me on how well-behaved and charming Nicholas is. He's the most uncomplicated baby there is.A couple of friends who have chosen to feed on demand or give in to quick-fix solutions are still putting up with five-month-old babies or toddlers who can't sleep, can't be weaned and a general nuisance to their parents and to themselves.The schedules are really useful because not even my pediatrician was able to draft me a sensible schedule on what to feed my baby, how often, at what times, when to put him to sleep or for how long.The bottom line of these books is: a well-rested and properly fed baby is less prone to tantrums and blooms healthily to everyone's content. Arranging your new life as parent by a schedule is a win-win situation to all concerned."The contented little baby book" and "Nanny Wisdom" combined will be the only books that will ease your way through the adventure of parenthood.Unlike other reviewers, I don't find Gina Ford's tone at all patronising. I guess some parents cannot humbly accept that we have a lot to learn and that special as our baby is to each of us, they're still babies with more or less predictable patterns.

Gina is famously very divisive with her methods. I believe that actually, in contradiction to common belief, it is not a harsh routine or draconian in its methods, but what a baby does naturally in many ways, certainly as the baby gets older and more settled, which is when it really comes into its own.The first few weeks are tough for every parent and I can understand why many fall by the wayside with the Gina routine during this period as quite often the baby does not do the routine and you can end up beating yourself up about it which I have done with two children. But hindsight taught me much and I think that in the first few weeks you should use this book as a guide, which is useful when, first-time around, you have no idea what is expected of you. Use it to get into good habits but absolutely don't deny your natural parenting instinct - I had to rock my son to sleep from 4 to 10 weeks, against advice. But I do believe that her advice is ultimately very wise.I do think every baby is different in the first few weeks (my daughter was a very sleepy baby and my son had colic). Both only vaguely did the routine, for different reasons, at first, despite my attempts. However, I think the turning point is really around three months, and certainly when they are going through the night as then the day starts at 7am and it is then you realise that what she suggests (their sleep times and feed times) are exactly right for them naturally). From this point my children fell into the routine very well and because their needs were being met they were very contented babies.She says in her book that the core of her method is having a good lunchtime sleep so that the baby can get through the afternoon until bedtime happily. I absolutely believe in this. The major difference between the people I know who did the routine and those who didn't was the lunchtime nap and its length. Having a good solid one was vital to my children, and also, vital to me. My son spent a long time waking up halfway through this and I think if I hadn't have known that he could go back to sleep again I would not have tried to make him do so. It was worth persevering with it.I also think she is very right with her sleep association theories. Although I rocked my colicky son to sleep for the first few weeks of his life, as soon as he could be distracted by something in his cot I stopped it and he has been, like my daughter was, very easy to put down ever since. I am afraid that I know people who for the past three years have still had to sit with their children to go to sleep because of bad sleep associations created when they were little. This in itself convinces me that these rules are not harsh, just sensible ways to get into a habit of and your children will only benefit from them.I would also say that her advice on colic was excellent and the only thing that actually worked for me despite putting up with hell for 6 weeks. I can't believe I didn't check what she had to say about it sooner. My son was cured in a night!My children are very content in the most part, but for me the real benefit has been the sleep. Everyone marvels at how easily they go to bed and I really believe that the core of this has been the Gina routine.