Kraft, Tartar Sauce Original, Count 1 - Sauces / Grab Varieties & Flavors

Excellent

Tartar sauce is my fave for fish n' chips or breaded shrimp so I splurged on 9 different brands of like a nutcase so I could do an ultimate ranking.I bought: Bookbinder's, Stonewall Kitchen, Kraft, Schlotterbeck & Foss, Colman’s, Beaver, McCormick, Louisiana Fish Fry, and Legal Sea Foods. I didn't rank Heinz, Frisch's, or Hellmann's (Cook's Illustrated rated Hellman's poorly for resembling plain mayo too much and Heinz didn't fare well either, despite making one of the best classic ketchups). Legal Sea Foods also makes a Chipotle Tartar Sauce, but I skipped that variant because I wanted to compare apples to apples.There's no accounting for taste, but I think I have a pretty discerning palate. Here are the results so you can skip the trial & error….you guys ready?THE WINNERS. In no particular order...1. Legal Sea Foods House Tartar Sauce.This has the 'premium, yet homemade' taste you'd expect at a fancy oceanfront seafood restaurant. It also has a wonderful consistency - sumptuous and super creamy. The flavor is complex and hits the bullseye of vinegary tang balanced by pleasing sweetness. Legal Sea Foods also won Cook's Illustrated's taste test (just keep in mind that Cook's only tested five brands excluding many of this list’s contenders). However, it’s on the milder side of the winners and not as stark as the next three.2. Colman’s Tartare sauce.Colman’s is a classic UK brand that makes a killer mustard (on the super strong end of the spectrum) so I had high hopes for this - and they didn’t disappoint! The consistency is spot on and it’s sharp and tangy. Distinctive. I like the bits of gherkin and caper in it. A classy sauce for sure.Legal’s might be my top pick but its main drawback is that it’s a bit too gentle, subtle. If you want something that packs a stronger punch, Colman’s may be a better choice for you.3. Beaver Seafood Tartar Sauce.The bottle claims "award-winning!" and after tasting the sauce, I believe it. It has loads of crunchy, flavorful chunks and gets bonus points for being one of only two sauces on this list with capers (yum). While its zesty taste is similar to Colman’s sauce, it's a little more one-note and less sophisticated in comparison.Even though it doesn't have the super-smooth consistency of Legal's sauce, I highly recommend it. However, if it matters to you, Beaver does have a few artificial ingredients, from high fructose corn syrup to sodium benzoate. Still, a great choice in terms of taste.4. Kraft Tartar Sauce.Pretty artificial, but a trashy delight! Have you ever had a filet o' fish at McDonald's? That's exactly what this tartar sauce tastes like. I didn't have high hopes because this is a more mass-market, commercial product, but it packs a tangy & sweet punch. If you want a tartar sauce to really 'come through', this may be the most distinctive of the lot.It's one of the cheapest too - at this time, you can snag 6 bottles for $12. Of course, it's probably also the most artificial: preservatives, modified food starch, a strong viscosity that homemade sauces don't have (you know, that homogenized, unnatural dessert-topping kind of consistency). Maybe it's just a mnemonic trigger for those childhood fish sandwiches, but it sure is tasty!By the way, Kraft has a variation of this product, the "lemon & herb" tartar sauce. I know that sounds really intriguing but I tried it too and it's similar but not as good as their basic tartar sauce. The lemon and herb is mellower in comparison; get the original instead.HONORABLE MENTION5. Stonewall Down East Tartar Sauce.Legal Sea Foods handed production of their sauces to Stonewall Kitchen, so I was initially concerned that Stonewall's tartar sauce might be identical to Legal's. However, the recipes and taste are markedly different - Legal's has relish front and center as the first ingredient, caramelized onions, and ground celery seeds, while Stonewall's has a stronger dill flavor and lemon.Stonewall's offering has the same top-quality approach and consistency as Legal Sea Foods' tartar sauce. Its downfall? It lacks zip. It just needs way more tang to qualify as a good tartar sauce. That said, I can still recommend it, with reservations, because it's delicious. However, this is best used as an aioli of sorts, say as a dipping sauce or sandwich spread. When evaluated as a tartar sauce, it simply isn't good enough.THE LOSERS.6.McCormick Golden Dipt Tartar Sauce.Cook's gave this their #2 spot - "recommended with reservations" - but I disagree. With its pleasant acidity, this is fine as a lemony glorified mayo, but isn't nearly distinctive enough to qualify as tartar sauce, let alone a good one. There are barely any crunchy pickle bits within, either. Give it a pass.7. Schlotterbeck & Foss Tartar Sauce.The packaging alone had me salivating: from the classy drawing that denotes 'old world heritage' to the words "crafted in small batches since 1866, Portland, Maine". Yes, please!Unfortunately, the product doesn't live up to that promise. The sauce is too gentle & overly sweet - it needs way more distinctiveness and zip, and hews too closely to mayo. It's also too goopy and could use more viscosity. Kudos on the packaging and being from Maine, but the sauce itself needs to be retooled.8. Bookbinders Tartar Sauce.This has a fatal, insurmountable flaw: it is totally overpowered by horseradish flavor. Cook's Illustrated dinged them for the same reason. There's nothing wrong with horseradish for a nice kick, but this ain't tartar sauce - it's a horseradish aioli. It also doesn't have nearly enough "chunks" of good stuff inside, kind of like chocolate chip ice cream with barely any chips in it. Skip this disappointment.THE UGLY9. Louisiana Fish Fry Tartar Sauce.Of all the contenders I tried, this was the only one that was actively unpleasant, both in terms of its liquidy runniness and the weirdly off-putting taste. Avoid.There you go, folks - happy seafooding!