Shattered Dreams: God's Unexpected Path to Joy

In 2007 I prayed to God for a deeper relationship with Him. I knew that might involve trials since we move closer to The Lord not in times of plenty and happiness but in times of sadness and loss. Later that year in 2007 my husband and I learned that our precious only child and daughter, a Christian, was addicted to drugs and alcohol. She was a National Merit Scholar, a National Honor Society student , a dancer and had a beautiful singing voice. Our perfect little world as we knew it was changed forever. In addition at this time my husband and I began caring for my terminally ill beloved Mother, and beloved Father who had recently had a stroke. I describe it as a time when the roof collapsed and the sides of our home caved in. At that time I tried to read the book "Shattered Dreams", but wasn't ready to hear the truth. I was afraid. Afraid I would never get out of this pit. I wanted God to fix my world and fix it fast. He didn't. I stopped reading the book after about two chapters. I wasn't ready to hear the truth. I still wanted God to answer my prayer that my daughter would be miraculously healed of her addictions. My Mother and Father are in heaven with Jesus now and my daughter who is now 21 is still fighting her addictions. It is now 2015. My husband and I are still together holding tightly to one another but my siblings and Christian friends have grown tired and distanced themselves from us. Friends and family want to help to an extent but sooner rather than later they move on. The other day I finally admitted to God that I was really mad at Him for allowing these horrible things to happen in my life. So silly. God already knew how I felt. It was no surprise to Him. The next day I asked God to forgive me for my outburst to Him. I then remembered Larry Crabb's book, "Shattered Dreams." I just finished reading the whole book. I recommend this book to everyone. To those with seemingly perfect families, and those Christians who are in the pit. God has not changed our circumstances but through the trials I have grown closer to The Lord even though it seems I cannot always feel His presence. God was not created to meet our every need and demand for a perfect care free life. We were created to worship God no matter our circumstances. I know He is with me.

When I was in the midst of deep grief, I knew the Bible taught God was powerful and in control. God is not helpless when bad things happen. He answers us when we pray. He chooses to do miracles for some, so why not for me? I was angry. I’d obeyed. I’d sacrificed. I’d prayed, but I did not get the miracle others had. God might be powerful, but how in the world was he loving to me? God used this book to speak to my soul in a very dark time. I don’t necessarily comprehend his ways, but I can rest in his love and find joy again. If you are hurting and wondering how a good and loving God allows his people to endure such pain, this is a fantastic resource. The Lord has used the truths in it to transform how I live and pray.

I found this book both disappointing and sad. The author clearly has a God paradigm that isn't working. This book is devoted to desperately trying to make it work. First, Crabbe describes a God who has made written promises that He (God) doesn't reliably keep (healing, provision, and protection being prime). Then, when a person is in intense emotional and/or physical pain due to God's unkept promises or sheer inaction, Crabbe's God emotionally abandons them. God (alias "the comforter" in some circles) just up and leaves the person to tough it out on their own. The book's "redeeming" idea seems to be that, at this point of emotional abandonment, the person becomes so utterly crushed and broken, shattered and literally terrified, they are finally either (1) able to encounter God because life has become horribly dark and meaningless thanks to God (who could have prevented this whole situation but didn't), or (2) they are writhing in pain for relief and simply don't know where else to turn, except to keep turning back the "higher power" who has already abandoned them. (As God is a liar who repeatedly doesn't keep promises, and an abandoner who has promised comfort, then leaves; this is getting weirdly close to looking like a child who keeps returning to an abusive parent.) For the person at this shattering life nadir, having an intense but unmet desire/hunger for God is depicted in the book as an intermediate level of "doing great". Yet, if they are doing great enough to finally "find" God, the God they meet at this point is an angry, harsh, lightening-throwing Calvinistic God who is furious at them for suggesting that they deserve anything. In fact, Jesus has to protect us from this God by throwing himself between the cowering sufferer and the lightening bolt of God's indignant anger which he has just hurled at the sinful "arrogant" sufferer. (This is depicted as establishing for the sufferer that Jesus is his best friend.) After that, the book quickly ends, giving the reader little help in how to balance his newfound "joy" with the ongoing misery of his life, agonizing pain, and unmet needs. How exactly does this work? The few paragraphs devoted to this sound rather like God has put the person on some kind of drug therapy, i.e. due to your new "joy", the fact that your whacked-out-on booze kid storms into the house at 4 a.m. just isn't quite as important anymore. It's hard to get a grip on the "feeling state" in this type example. You know . . . if this is really how it works, then I hope it is simply all over when I die. This God is a nightmare. I actually agree with the idea that suffering, to a point, can turn us toward God. In fact, I even agree that suffering may play an essential role in the journey toward God. But I don't like the way Crabbe's God is positioned relative to our suffering, and I don't like the picture of God Crabbe paints. Horrible unaddressed suffering is not always redemptive -- it can destroy a person (and others around that person). Crabbe doesn't discuss if God ever crosses that line. Or if the line to destruction is crossed, who crossed it? And how? Is this a God we can trust? For what? Is this God really "on our side", or is this God basically out to enhance his own "glory"? Crabbe is quite admirably honest about the problems he has encountered in relating to God. If a reader has had similar problems, then reading his candid stories could be cathartic. On a more individual note, Crabbe seems to have personal guilt about having arrogantly yelled at God for more blessings when he already seems to have a ton. If a reader with lots of blessings has assumed God owes it to them to make their life even more perfect, then this will also be relatable. But the heavy-handed contortions Crabbe goes through near the book's end to reconcile his genuinely disturbing experiences with some very unattractive theology is quite discouraging -- even alarming -- and not helpful for either God's reputation or for maintaining faith. Joy is not very well defined or described in this book. But under Crabbe's scenario, could anyone but a masochist set out to find "joy"? And if they found it, what kind of God would they have to rely on, from that point forward? Based on past experience, maybe this God would just decide one day to jerk the rug out from under one's hard-won "joy"? And if so many of these other promises aren't kept, then why should a person believe this God's promises about heaven are true?

Touched my heart, gives a real explanation of the purpose of suffering and even why we exist, now for the re-read

Firstly this is not a quick fix book. Larry Crabb uses the story of Naomi to beautifully illustrating the journey God takes us to joy from absolute devastation to hope to joy. I particularly liked the image Jesus as the bridegroom in Boaz' preparation for his wedding to Ruth. Naomi said "my daughter. The man will not rest until the matter is settled today". We may not always feel Gods presence but He is always working to bring us closer to Him. Very challenging and freeing book.

Love this book! One of the best written on suffering within the Christian faith. Larry Crabb writes honestly and speaks with a great deal of wisdom and experience. I've never heard any other teaching on Naomi in the bible and this was very revelatory. This has helped me to continue in hope whilst in a difficult season and to know that God has much greater plans and purposes for these times.

One of the best books I have ever read. Very challenging and encouraging at the same time

This has truly been an awwwsimm book! I know of Dr Crabb through the grief share project. I bought the book to help me in the process of finding God's will and purpose for me as a widow. I actually feel that I could recommend this book to each and every Christian.