Full description not available
E**S
Helps understanding from a non-biased somebody who’s the book or it gives you confirmation
Great Reed, especially for those who are going through a rough time in their relationship.
D**.
A great resource for couples
Who hasn't ever, in a tense moment with one's partner or spouse, struggled to find the right words to say? Who hasn't experienced that familiar downward spiral where in the moment, it seems impossible that things could ever feel sane again?This book consists of 127 "flash cards for real life" which can be used to redirect the course of an unpleasant exchange to something friendlier. Often when we are feeling invalidated or unheard by our partner it can be a struggle to communicate in a way that doesn't make things worse--or at least cause both persons to dig in their heels. The author has two main premises in this book. First, the mere act of offering a written message, without the voice tones and inflections that naturally accompany upset, can signal to the recipient that despite the conflict at hand the sender is actually wanting to make a connection--to move toward, rather than away--and that in itself can change the energy of the entire interaction. Second, when we are more connected to our own insides, we can relate to the person across from us in a healthier way.The cards are divided into eleven sections. An example from the first section, Shifting Gears: "I am upset. That doesn't mean that you are a bad person... It means that if you could just listen, I would feel incredibly loved." And another, from the section Setting Limits: "When you go on and on like that, I feel invisible to you." Each card is accompanied by "field notes" in which the author discusses in what types of situations one might use the card and explains what the impact might be on both the sender and the receiver. She uses anecdotes from her extensive experience as a couples therapist (and even occasionally from her own life) to illustrate the points involved. Even if one doesn't use the cards the field notes themselves are quite thought-provoking. Just about everyone will see a bit of themselves and/or their relationship in the many vignettes presented.There were some complaints about the durability of the previous (spiral-bound) edition of the book. This new version comes with much sturdier binding and also has 26 new flash cards under two new sections, "Making Love" and "Deepening Trust."This book would be useful to anyone wanting insight into how to have a more conscious relationship. Highly recommended.
S**L
Pragmatic and powerful
Hats off this author, Nancy Dreyfus for providing relationship advice in such a simple yet profound way. What’s special about this book is you can open up to any page, read the quote and the corresponding responses of how to use it in your relationship. I highly recommend this book -it is like having a therapist in the room with you. - Karen Sprinkel, Individual and Family Trauma Therapy Corporation
M**N
nice read
Flash cards are amazing ! My husband and I are in such a great place but were interested in what the book was about when it was recommended to us by our married friends. The flash cards are great but the next page where it gives a run down of the card is eh it’s just not written well for minimum and basic which would I guess make sense because this is like a self help book so you do the work ! It’s a good read though and recommend we got the hard copy
R**T
Lovely Read
Loved this book so much I have it on Audible and paperback.
K**N
This is .....
....okay, but it's written, I find FOR WOMEN, and how to relate to men. Also, they don't really say anything in the description of this book , that it is to be used WITH flashcards. ( There is a set for this book you can purchase separately, here on Amazon for $99.99...todays low, low price!!!) I'm trying to figure out how to use this book from a male point of view.I'm disappointed a bit in the book. For me, flipping through a bunch of flash cards, then showing it to your spouse may work for some, but to me seems childish........"Oh wait! I don't like what you just said (or did), but let me flip through my flash cards to tell you how I really feel!!!" ....Ummm..no.Sooooooo, I'm skipping the flash cards and trying to just take in what I can for future use.If you ARE in need of this book, it's good, I just don't like the flash card thing (which, did I mention are sold separately here on Amazon for the low, low price of $99.99?If you think this book is for you, don't worry about buying any flash cards, just heed the advice in the book as best you can.
A**R
Imagine if "Relationship for Dummies" Actually Made You Brilliant!
If you read only one self-help book, let it be this one! Dreyfus' advice is so straightforward, user friendly and results oriented that you wonder why you are just now learning about it. The more you "practice," the better you (and your partner) feel, the more nourishing your relationship becomes, the more inclined your partner is to join you, and so the flash card using cycle repeats! I learn something new every time I read (or listen to) Talk to Me Like Someone You Love. Contrary to any initial doubt that you can't "use" the cards in real time, you realize quickly that you have been the biggest obstacle to your own relationship success and THIS is the operator's manual you needed!
M**S
incredibly helpful!
I stumbled across this book and ended up falling in love with it. Thank you!!I’m definitely getting a physical copy and integrating this into my relationships.
