Homosexuality and the Christian: A Guide for Parents, Pastors, and Friends Paperback – September 1, 2010

It was a good read. Especially if you’re someone who is going to be dealing with the issue of homosexuality in the context of Christianity. I found it a little hard to read because it was a little emotionless and too far removed from conversational. It’s a great resource, but I will find it hard to read again.

As a researcher and psychologist, one of Dr. Yarhouse's greatest contributions to any discussion about same-sex attractions is his ability to communicate with and challenge the Christian faith community. He addresses the usual topics most people are interested in (what causes homosexuality?, can someone change sexual orientation?, how should I respond if someone I love announces a gay identity?, etc.).But he also emphasizes two points I think too many people overlook:(1) A discussion about sexual identity can be more constructive than the narrow (and often divisive) debates about what causes sexual orientation and whether it could be changed.(2) Rather than being marginalized by the church, the sexual minority Christian should be embraced as a valuable member of his or her spiritual community.I believe the following three quotes are representative of the tone and approach you will find in this book . . ."The church doesn't lead with the thought and attitude that Christians who struggle with homosexuality are our people." But it should. - page 157"Questions about causation and change are important" but "the traditional Christian sexual ethic does not hinge on the causes of sexual attraction or orientation." And "the gospel does not hinge on whether people can experience change of sexual orientation." - pages 163 - 164, 182"When churches value being single not as a stage to 'get through' but as a good state to be in, they can provide a place that is valued and meaningful to the Christian who is also a sexual minority." - page 173

This is an excellent, clearly, calmly and reasonably written book forpeople who want to live by the Bible and relate in a loving and truthful wayto same-sex attracted people.Yarhouse says he wants to change the dialog in the church on this topic.Specifically, he calls on the church to change emphasis from always preaching thathomosexual acts are sin, and therefore the homosexual person must seek changefor his or her orientation.He says the emphasis must be on same-sex attracted persons being loved by the church andencouraged to live lives dedicated to and guided by Christ. Yarhouse isn't saying homosexual acts are NOT sin,nor does he discredit Christian ex-gay ministries that help people diminish same-sex attractions.However, he says complete orientation change is infrequent in these ministries, and in any case,discipleship is the true Christian goal.At present, he says, the church is failing to minister to its same-sex attracted youth and giving its other-sex attracted youthtoo few talking points when they wish to develop healthy conversations on the topic.But a change in emphasis, he says, doesn't mean abandoning a Biblical position.

I liked that the writer was very careful not to offend anyone. This book will help anyone struggling with anything to do with sexuality or gender. It will also help anyone who just doesn't understand the conflict of those struggling. It really sheds light onto the whole matter and makes you realize that there is no black and white, there are just many, many shades in between, which the LGBT community tries to make everything just black or just white. We've got to take away the labels. There's so many people who are mislabeled because society wants to label them. If someone is attracted to the opposite sex, it doesn't automatically mean they are gay, nor does it mean they have to live a gay lifestyle.

Great book very helpful

Whether or not one calls themselves a Christian, this is a very thought provoking book dealing with an extremely volatile topic which has divided families and friends, no more so than in our current times. If only people on both sides of the issue could set aside the need for absolute alignment and see that there is so much more to a person than the sexual side; such as character, values, interests, etc to name a few. No one on either side wants to have another's views forced upon them. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree and pick those things in which you have commonality and decide if the relationship is important or not. If it is important, then grace needs to be lavishly extended to one another. If it isn't important, then don't waste further time debating which will only further ill will. This book helps to navigate those feelings and issues.

This book gave me new language to be in relationship with our gay daughter. I wish that I had it during those critical teen years that Yarhouse discusses. Still, I have a greater understanding of the struggles she went through as she sorted out her own desires. During her college years, she shaped her identity and behavior based on the scripts of others. It hasn't shaped our script that we love her, however how helpful it would have been to give her another choice to consider. Perhaps my wife and I will have better insights to share with our grandchildren or others in the church. I certainly will pass this along to our youth minister and our preaching minister, perhaps our elders. No, instead I will buy each of them a copy.

I think one of the most difficult of this current cultural climate is that homosexuality seems to be an off-limits topics for heterosexual Christians. From my experience, heterosexual Christians have a difficult time speaking on the topic of homosexuality, and yet there is an urgent need for discussions to take place on all sides. There are three parts to this book, that give parents, pastors and friends the background and tools needed to have open and loving discussions with people struggling with same-sex attraction. It is a must read for anyone in the ministry or those who work with parents or teens.

The best book on the subject I have ever read. Easy to read. Covers the subject admirably. Recent converts to Christianity may find it a little difficult to follow. Ideally suited to the more mature person, particularly church leaders, pastors, etc.

Differentiates between sexual attractions, sexual identity and sexual behaviour. Very helpful and also respectfully written in addressing an issue that has become politically charged and polarized to the point where thoughtful discussion is curtailed. This is a book allows for meaningful and respectful discussion to occur and for those who have loved ones experiencing same-sex attractions to be understanding and supportive in their journey with them.