The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do" Paperback – December 27, 2007

My husband and I read this book when we were dating. We've been married for seven years. Now we gift it to anyone thinking about getting married. It poses trivial questions about daily life that you probably would not think of on your own. Sometimes the same questions are worded differently. This can be annoying or get you to approach the same subject from a different prospective. For some of my friends, this book allows one partner to discuss a sensitive area (spending habits, family) without the other person feeling attacked.We went through the questions during road trips as a way to pass time. Not only did we get to know each other better, it was a confrontational way to discuss issues for which we had strong feelings. Plus, when the eldest of four marries an only child, holiday spending and family priorities are important topics. Eventually we would have gotten to most of these topics on our own, but it helped create a stronger foundation for our marriage.One commenter wrote that this book doesn't ask philosophical questions. That's true. Hopefully, those types of things are discussed while you're enjoying a meal. This book will ask if it is okay to lend money to family or where to spend holidays. Topics that are better discussed before marriage than argued after the nuptials.

I love this book! I have given it to at least 6 couples before their marriages (and they all still got married)... None of these questions were even thought about before I married, and the answers can be so important to the peace and happy-ness of couples and their future together. So many of the questions might be answered by 'hmmm...I never thought about that'. Why not ask them before the wedding, instead of being caught by surprise after...when one might be assuming the outcome, or thinking it would be like their parents' choices? I might not have married my husband had I read this book and discussed it with him before the wedding :-) But then, I would've missed out on 4 wonderful kids, who are now adults! Yes, I love this book...everything we know is something we know. Why leave something so life-changing as a lifelong partnership to chance? Makes for lots of thinking, sharing, and getting to know one another and one's own self better! How could that not be a good thing? Thanks for asking :-) Peace to you~Jaynie Allee

My now husband and I completed this book while engaged. He tends to be a peacemaker and won’t dive into “hard” conversations to avoid possible conflict. These questions prompted us to have open dialogue without it coming from the other person but an outside source. It really encouraged us to dive deep especially before the wedding. I would recommend this to any couple needing to navigate deeper conversations

I ordered a few question books of this nature from Amazon, and I think this one is by far the best. It is simple, and breaks down the questions into good, relevant categories. My boyfriend and I, who have been together almost 6 years now, have had a great time going through it chapter by chapter and discussing our viewpoints and plans. It has both given us an affirmation of compatibility and shared visions, as well as shed light on a few things we hadn't yet really discussed. The only reason I gave it only 4 instead of 5 stars is that the little intros to each section are ok, but not really necessary. We have had such a great time going through it and really strengthening our bond that I plan to give it to friends who are engaged or even already married, so that they can experience the same feeling.

You may think to yourself, these questions are simple? But they are so important to discuss before marriage. Buy yourself, or an engaged couple you love, this book!

I wish I had found this book when I was much younger. I wasn't really capable of being honest with myself long with not being old enough and mature enough to know what I wanted. This book brings up as it says, the "HARD" questions. Things you may incorrectly assume about what will happen in your marriage. I would also recommend waiting until you both are past the "lovestruck" phase before reading it together. That is, if you aren't aware, the phase where your partner does something that usually would annoy you but you find "cute". The cuteness doesn't always last and can be replaced by a resentment. I like to give a copy to all the folks I care about that are getting married and want to stay married. So read this book and listen to your mom if you are lucky enough to have one. She's literally known you 9 months longer than anyone and can see things we are blind about.

I was given this book by my mother before my husband and I got married. We looked through it and answered the questions. We actually LOVED reading it, because it brought up great discussions that may not have otherwise been brought up! You never know what your ideas about kids will be unless you start talking about it! This is exactly what the book does, and we found we had a TON in common, which made us feel even better about the upcoming nuptials. Even when we disagreed, it was great to get it out in the open. I actually bought this one for my cousin! Great read!

This book was interesting, and the questions were a great way to start discussion. Although often we had already talked about the topics, it was still good to cover some of these specifics in preparation for marriage.HOWEVER - I would caution other Christian readers out there that this book is written by an extrememly liberal & secular author. The introduction and chapter intro's tell a very selfish story, about 2 people dating who are looking out for #1, and basically how to set expectations to get what YOU want out of a marriage (Rather than building a partnership as one mind). Also the chapter on sexuality assumes you are already sleeping together and is not appropriate for a couple waiting until marriage.