Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box

Maybe…this might be my most important book recommendation for you this year. The title…timely. The contents…convicting. Last week, while reflecting on issues of leadership character and humility, I found not one, but two copies on my bookshelf of “Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box.” I had never read the book (to my chagrin). So my wife read it first this weekend—and her praise was effusive. Then I read it. (Am I the only leader that missed this gem?) I should have read it years ago (and my former staff and family would agree). If you haven’t read the book—or leveraged the insights for your organization or family—drop everything and read “Leadership and Self-Deception.” Here’s why: REASON #1: SELF-DECEPTION IS RAMPANT. You don’t need this book to recognize how other leaders are blind to their own self-deception—but it will give you handles (and a practical metaphor) for understanding the blindness. REASON #2: I AM BLIND TO MY OWN BLINDNESS. Whew. (Did I mention “convicting” and serious gut-checking?) While trying to figure out the sin and self-deception in other leaders, I wondered, how did the authors insert mirrors on every convicting page? In Scott Rodin’s book, “The Steward Leader,” he reminds us, “If I could put one Bible verse on the desk of every pastor and every Christian leader in the world, it would be this: ‘If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us’ (1 John 1:8).” REASON #3: THE “BOX” METAPHOR. Powerful. Trust me—read and study this book with your team (and family) and you’ll be using the “box” metaphor within an hour. The second edition of “Leadership and Self-Deception” includes a short section on how to maximize the book’s impact. The authors list stunning (stunning!) examples of how the principles have transformed organizations (nonprofit and for-profit) and even police departments. In Japan, a word-of-mouth movement has launched “out-of-the-box” clubs. The business novel/fable/story format makes for an easy read (about three hours) with memorable characters, but—warning—it’s not a comfortable read. REASON #4: FAITH-BASED ALIGNMENT. While the principles of Leadership and Self-Deception are not faith-based per se—they actually are. For readers who are Christ-followers, you’ll salivate at the opportunity to integrate “Leadership and Self-Deception” with biblical wisdom. And speaking of alignment, you’ll appreciate how “Leadership and Self-Deception” enhances the insights, especially, of many other books I’ve reviewed, including The Cure: What if God isn't who you think He is and neither are you? The Advantage, Leaders Eat Last, Broken and Whole, Leading Me, Serve Strong, and What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There (to name just a few). REASON #5: REFRESHING HUMILITY—NO AUTHOR NAMES! Really! Published by The Arbinger Institute, these leaders practice what they preach—and share the credit for this book with all of their team members, including non-writers. Hence—author names are not revealed. (And note: the book has sold over one million copies.) So, could this book help you and your leadership team? Yes! From the authors: “…the myriad ways in which people have used this book and its ideas fall within five broad areas of application: “1) applicant screening and hiring, 2) leadership and team building, 3) conflict resolution, 4) accountability transformation, and 5) personal growth and development.”

Background: I purchased this book on Amazon, knowing the different insight and approach to leadership. Currently, I am in College and I don't quite have a position in a business organization or company, but I do have to prepare myself and become better at getting the best out of my fellow school organization officers. In a few months, I will be the President of a cultural club on campus, and I've encountered several situations when I felt that my leadership and way of treating people could have improved. That's where this book came in and changed my perspective and outlook on treating people. The book does start off a little bit slow and dry, but it builds on considerably after a very can-relate-with -the-leader type of a story. Also, the pictures are very helpful in this book(who doesn't love pictures when you're trying to learn something?). Overall, the conversational style of the book is very easy to read and understandable. I don't feel lectured; I feel like someone experienced is talking to me personally and telling me all of this invaluable advice, and leaving me with the choice of what I can now do with the knowledge. Progressing through the book, many examples appear (You'll have to read that yourself). Constantly, again and again, the motiff seems to be that it's not always about OTHERS, but it's about you, yourself. Sure, people have problems and can become a problem, but it's not helpful to the situation in provoking others (another motiff). Ultimately, when we become angry or treat someone in not the most nicest, fair, or helpful way, we are betraying ourselves. We all have values, virtues, and morals, and when we act out of character in treating someone, you betray yourself, hindering progress, and in turn, creating problems. At the end, there is a list that tells us what we can't do when we're in the box (In short, in the box means that we betray ourselves, provoke others, act against what we feel is right, and justify problems) When we are in the box (basically, we betray ourselves) You cannot: 1) Change others 2) Do your best to "cope" with others 3) Leaving 4) Communicating 5) Implementing new skills or techniques 6) Changing my behavior Once you finish this book, and perhaps reread it, you will understand why you cannot do the stated guidelines. Overall: This is definitely a good read and a life-changing book. I haven't read such a book before. Read it now! It will help you whether or not you need it at the moment. You won't regret it!

This is a pretty decent book, written in a "story" format - which I particularly enjoy. The premise of the book is that we as managers and people in general tend to be "in the box" when dealing with others, and view them as objects rather than people. There is a lack of true engagement and understanding from the perspective of the other person. This doesn't mean that you need to be soft or weak. Rather that you need to be engaged and committed to engagement. The focus needs to be on results, as opposed to on other people's shortcomings and perceived issues. The story bogs down a few times, and the end of the book seemed rushed and thrown together somewhat. However, the basic premises are helpfully summarized at the very end of the book - in the form of a fascimile of a card, on how to apply the material. In all, a decent perspective, an easy and somewhat entertaining read (love the format), and there's some good meat to chew on and ideas to make you think.

In my previous job assignment I had a big discussion with one of the members and blamed him for all. But after reading this I saw the mistakes I also made. Go on and give it a try, in the worst case it will give you a lot of personal growth towards your family.

Ein Buch, das man aus meiner Sicht gelesen haben muss und weiterempfehlen sollte. Ich selbst werde das Buch meinen Kolleginnen und Kollegen empfehlen und darum bitten, das Buch zu verstehen und anzuwenden. Das heißt, nicht nur das kollegiale Miteinander wird dadurch erhöht, sondern auch die eigene Erkenntnis über einen selbst und andere. Weiterhin gibt das Buch die passenden Empfehlungen dazu, vielleicht der Kollege, die Kollegin oder auch die Führungskraft zu werden, die viele von uns verdient haben.

Me gustó mucho el contenido de este libro, siento que quizá desperdician mucho papel al hacer la letra tan grande pero a mi me fue de mucho ayuda puesto que tengo problemas de visión.

This book is an absolute must read, regardless of the area you are seeking to apply it principles. I have taken training courses that have skimmed the surface of the principles in this book, however have not delved so deeply into the root fundimentals of the ideas. One particular phase I've heard in the industry I'm in is "My Fault Management". Others in my organization have been taught this to be, what have you dont to contribute to the problem or blame yourself for the outome of the situation. By viewing the concept in this way, they assign blame to themselves and tend to develope feelings of resentment towards others in the organization. This, I believe, helps lead them into "the box". On the other hand, I was taught this to mean, access the situation, identify where you have contributed to the undesired results, accept responsibly for your actions and move on to come up with ways to help you and others achieve the results you / your team are hoping to accomplish in the first place. This way, I believe, reduces the chances for you to enter irnto "the box" and therefore reduces the instances of your in box-ness leading others to the same fate. This book is absolutely pivotal in helping one build and maintain a successful operation. I look forward to reading The Arbinger Institute's other publications.

Me encanto el libro y supuso una experiencia genial descubrir lo fácil que resulta ser feliz cuando eres fiel a ti mismo. Sin engaños ni justificaciones. No vale arrepentirse de lo que uno hace, lo importante es cambiar eso que uno hace y que no le aporta felicidad. A mi este libro creo me ha enseñado a ser mejor persona con la gente que mas quiero. Mil gracias Pablo por la recomendación!