The Courage To Be Disliked: A single book can change your life (Courage To series) (Cover may vary) Paperback – 3 Jan. 2019

I read this last autumn so I’m fuzzy on some of the details however the lesson of this book remains with me. I’m not the sort of person to say that a book changed my life but this book deeply impacted me (it changed my life).I’ve been “stuck” for decades - too much in my thoughts and feelings, too much in the thoughts and feelings of others. Having read this book, my life has transformed. My worldview and approach to life, especially interpersonal interactions and my internal state is so different. I am much mirr in control, at ease in myself and that is *major* for someone like me. No, every day is not perfect but my baseline - my bar - has risen and will never fall again.It’s not a long book but I read this very slowly, pages at a time over a few months so I could fully absorb it. Sometimes I had to go over the same pages a few times to get my head around concepts which felt so alien to me. Sometimes I just felt frustrated with what I was reading and needed a break.I found it quite challenging to read in parts, feeling “called out” when I recognised how my own thoughts and actions were keeping me stuck - and even more so that my stuckness was a choice, one which was serving me in ways I didn’t realise. It was a hard pill to swallow but being able to digest it privately, slowly and reading in my own time gave the opportunity for it to sink in, in a non-threatening way. I was able to see the light on the other side of all of this.I needed to understand and receive this information by book - if someone had come up to me and told me this stuff I’d have wanted to punch them in the face and shut it all down. Books are good. Books are safe spaces. Take your time with it.I’ve wanted to gift this book to others who seem stuck but don’t feel it’s my place to impose it on anyone. I think many of us, especially those who have been harmed, will find it *very* challenging to take accountability for the way our lives have panned out post-harm. For that reason I only ever let people know I’ve read it, that I’ve benefited from it and leave it at that.If you’re reading this and feel tired of your stuckness and feel ready to be challenged, privately, in your own time, and in a safe way, I highly recommend giving it a go.Wishing all of you well, wherever you are on your journeys and whether you loved or hated this book.

So much of the advice given to 'people pleasers' does not help. Just like yourself. Don't worry what THEY say. Only your opinion matters. If these things were already the case the advice would perhaps not be needed.The courage To Be Disliked is a conversation between a philosopher and a cynical youth who struggles with self-acceptance and dislike of the world. The conversation is slow and a bit boring to start with but soon accelerates into a no-holds barred discussion of what it means to be a member of society and what freedom in that society really is. It's apparently based on the work of Alfred Adler a contemporary of Freud's but is is NOTHING like Freud's work. If you are looking for a truly different set of ways to view the world (and become free of other's opinions) this is it. Freedom, truly is the freedom to be disliked as you will discover. Some of the language takes a bit of getting used too - there are new terms including seeing your fellow man as a 'comrade' in life rather than competition and I can't ever imagine calling anyone Comrade (!). However, the concepts are well worth chewing over and you will have to read the whole thing to get the benefit. I feel I have significantly shifted my views on my place in society as a result of these ideas. One to chew on.

The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga is one of the most thought-provoking books I’ve ever read. Drawing from Adlerian psychology, it challenges conventional beliefs about happiness, self-worth, and relationships. The book is structured as a dialogue between a philosopher and a young student, making complex ideas easy to understand and deeply engaging.One of the book’s core messages—that we are not defined by our past and can choose to live freely, without seeking approval from others—is both liberating and challenging. Some concepts may feel radical at first, but if you keep an open mind, you’ll find powerful insights that can genuinely transform how you approach life.If you’re interested in philosophy, psychology, or self-improvement, this is a must-read. Highly recommended for anyone seeking true happiness and inner peace!

The Courage to Be Disliked is a transformative read that challenges conventional ideas about happiness, relationships, and self-worth. Written as a dialogue between a philosopher and a young seeker, the book uses Adlerian psychology to unpack why we feel stuck in life and how we can break free.What makes this book unique is its conversational style, which makes profound psychological concepts accessible without being overly academic. It reframes many of our struggles, like seeking approval or living in fear of rejection, as choices we make rather than inevitable realities. This perspective is both liberating and empowering.One of the key takeaways for me was the idea that happiness isn't something we pursue but a byproduct of living authentically and contributing to others. The book also emphasizes the importance of accepting responsibility for our emotions and actions without blaming our past or external circumstances.However, it’s worth noting that some readers may find the advice a bit idealistic or challenging to implement. It’s not a step-by-step guide but rather a philosophical shift in how we view ourselves and the world.Overall, The Courage to Be Disliked is a must-read for anyone seeking deeper clarity and freedom in their life. It’s thought-provoking, inspiring, and will leave you questioning—and ultimately redefining—what it means to lead a fulfilling life.