Queen Bees and Wannabes, 3rd Edition

In the third edition, 95% of the text is a rather bland, off-the-shelf set of generic and incredibly condescending parenting advice, in the standard American middle class individualist main stream. Really mothering advice, most of the book can be summed up as "it's all the mother's fault that your daughter is lying to you". The "Queen Bee" teen girl dynamics that made this book famous, is really just a single chapter. If this sort of parenting manual is your cup of tea - good for you. Even many confused teen girls will like this sort of explanation of themselves, as a sort of simplifying self diagnosis.

I just started reading this book yesterday, so I am only a little ways into it, but from what I have read so far it is SPOT ON. As others stated...it's a long book. But..come on...girls are complex people! I have been a middle school teacher for 17 years and I have two daughters...one is 13 and one is nearly 8. I wish I had read this book years ago to better relate to my students. I plan on suggesting it as a book group read for my faculty and maybe even seeing if some of the students want to join in. My 13 year old read a little bit of it with me and her eyes kept opening up really wide. She said it was all totally relatable and she was easily able to point out where many of her friends were with relation to their status in the clique. Her grade is known for a complex girls clique and it's something she's been dealing with since 3rd grade. It got so bad for awhile that she actually decided to try a charter school to get away from the clique but as it always is with girls, cliques were at the charter school as well. It's just what girls do. As she read she stuck up her fingers in a hash tag symbol and said #relatable, 13 year old speak for this is accurate ;). Some parts of it so far were hard for me to read. I'm one of the floaters (she calls them champions in this book...I'm not sold on that term...makes it sound too positive and there are lots of drawbacks to being a floater, trust me). One of the parts I read about floaters literally gut punched me and made me realize why I've often felt as though I'm an island of myself. My 13 year old daughter is a floater as well. This is a trait that serves her sell sometimes, but also leaves her without a best friend. That can be hard. I can attest to that never having a best friend myself. Don't get me wrong...I have tons of friends, but have never had a best friend due to my floater tendencies. I would think if I had been a queen bee or the mother of a queen bee that this book might be a bit harder to read. What I have read so far doesn't cast queen bee's in the most favorable light, though that is not the author's intention. Her intention is to raise awareness of the cliques and how to navigate them. She doesn't say queen bee's are bad people...they are part of a hierarchal system. I've worked with several queen bee students before and, although many of them are mean girls, they are all just trying to navigate social structures like the rest of us and just need some extra guidance and parenting in order to use their status in a more positive way. Unfortunately, from what I have seen as an educator and parent, many parents of queen bees are in the dark about their child and make the situation worse.

Lots of insights. My girls are slightly younger but its good to anticipate whats coming. I will be reading this again.

This book was on the recommended reading list from our dance school. Oh boy, was this eye opening. Not only to what my daughter was/is experiencing but also provided some understanding of what I went through as a teenager as well.

Very interesting read, centered on the struggle of growing a daughter from childhood to adulthood. The author is American aber most of her suggestions apply to Europe as well. This new edition is updated with hints in how to manage social networks.