I thought my life was complete. I thought I'd seen it all, done it all, had it all and that I could just sit back and relax.... but then; I spotted a grey hair, and then another - at first I thought they were just outliers and quickly plucked them and forgot about them.. until there was another followed by another and yet even more - I realised my beard was slowly turning grey! At first I thought it was okay, I'd be alright, it's just face hair, who cares ? - then I started to notice other mens beards, and all the old boys had greys!... but I didn't want to be old! NO I screamed! I cried and I sobbed for days. I refused to see friends, I refused to see family, I remained hidden from the world, convinced a grave misjustice of the fates had befallen me. I needed a solution. Journeying far and wide, travelling across great distances and undiscovered continents, I searched both inner and outer earth, and could find no 'tree of life', no way to reverse the aging process (nay, even to halt it!) - indeed all I found was that I had become even older! Upon returning to my humble existence I noticed not one or two, but great swathes of scraggly old undesirable men had transformed themselves into youthful demigods in my absence! How ? How has this happened ?!? What did I miss ? How can I join them ? "Just for Men" they cried. "Mustache and Beard Gel" they rallied. And so here I came to obtain this most wonderful and magical product - and after just one application, I revealed myself in great trepidation to the foggy bathroom mirror and realised... I too was made young again, I too will never again know the ravages of time, I too had been saved!
