On Love: A Novel

First of all, wow. This book was amazingly detailed on the experience of falling in love from moments of intimacy from moments of pain to moments of greater pain. I learned through reading this book that I truly don't want to experience pain. And if that makes me a coward. Then I am the proudest coward to be. I realized this was a great book to me when I was able to relate in so many ways. As a man this brought me to some places where I hurt people and they hurt me. Bringing me to the wisdom of never putting your feelings out there is what keeps you safe. I disagree that falling in love in inevitable, but hey we all have our own thoughts and opinions. I learned a lot through this book only pushing and guiding me more to say "I will never fall in love again". I have been single and out the game for 2.5 years and this book helped me understand that I have the ability to never love again. With no monastery, nuns, caves or abandonment of society. I learned to love myself recently and understand that if you love yourself then truly you don't need anyone else. Thanks a lot for this read.

This was a very smart, modern meditation on romantic love that delivered page after page of piercing insight, humility, self awareness, and classic erudition. Romantic love is one of countless (but maybe the most interesting) portals to deeper psycho/philosophical knowledge of who we are and what we humans ultimately seek, and de Botton does the topic justice. Great read that could equally accompany you as a beach read or be in an upper level philosophy syllabus. That's hard to pull off.

Alain de Botton takes you on a wonderful imaginative journey of love with a massive array of philosophical references to cope with the natural wear and tear of relationships. Starting off simply from a cute meet and great, to the discomfort of seeing his girlfriend wearing overly-expensive high heals that contrast the market deli butcher' horrible socks-and-sandals combination, and the innate paradox of how much care he has for his love, Botton attempts to tackle the massive combination, what is love? But what sets this book apart from most is that Botton does answer his massive questions about love and relationships, though temporarily, because as any knows, every battle in a relationships is temporary until it isn't and then, armed with knowledge of the war a person must decide if it's worth the battle scars...and most of us decide it is. An incredible book that should be a companion piece to any new relationship.

I can’t remember last time I read something that made me think and reflect like this. I suspect this book is not for everyone but to me it was like Alain looked into my soul and also threw some curiosity and food for thought around politics, philosophy, Liberty. This was food for my starved brain and some much needed mirror for my soul. Thank you Alain and the team that helped to bring this book to the world! Thank you Adam that went out on a limb and suggested this book to me.

The reason I bought this book was the videos and pieces from The School of Life. I was a bit disappointed though. There is something about the voice of the narrator that is not natural, he tries to sound too smart or something and I was annoyed by it. There is something lacking in the story as well, character development perhaps, a further draft, more time. The sentences, though, are beautifully constructed and you can see some of de Botton's present voice in them. And some parts were indeed hilarious. The main reason I found this book just okay is because I could not see in it the usual depth I find in other pieces from the author. The sense of humor, however, was there. In any case, I will still buy his other books because I find this man very smart.

I enjoyed the story line of this book with the inevitable crash of the relationship. But the narrator let philosophy and a need for logical passivity convince him that there was nothing morally wrong in his girlfriend having cheated on him. He only addressed her rejection. But she was morally wrong. Period.

I have a new favorite book. So beautiful and real. A true experience of love - all the good bad and ugly. Just raw and honest. Stunning.

For me this was the perfect book! I loved the intense, personal details juxtaposed with reflection on the nature of love and infatuation. I can't say I've ever felt as deeply as Alain, but by magnifying what I have felt when I've fallen in love, it helped me to understand the insanity that takes over in romantic love. I can see the attraction of psychoanalysis which gives us a sense of control in the sense that our subconscious created the tragedy we are now experiencing and if that is the case then there is hope for us through therapy to control our lives. I'm not sure I agree with that, but the pain we bring upon ourselves through romantic love may be mitigated if we can gain a better understanding of it, if only because we realize we are not alone and others have suffered as deeply or even more deeply. I am now reading his second book on love written 20 years later, although I don't find it as interesting as this one.