Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Well worth the read, brain food and insight.

This review of Brown's book takes a perspective of Christian Mission to the majority World, especially Africa. The author of this review has spent nearly 30 years, while serving in Africa, encouraging other missionaries to be vulnerable. Hence his fascination with Brown’s observations on vulnerability. In summary, Brown tells us that many problems in family, school, and organization are caused through inadequate recognition of the power of shame. Rigid machine-likeness that characterises today’s modern results-oriented society, stultifies innovation, relationship, joy, and creativity, and results in disengagement. Manoeuvring through shame, by enacting appropriate levels of vulnerability, in necessary combination with profound spirituality, results in healthy overcoming of shame, which brings about wholeheartedness. In parts of the majority world, especially Africa, taboos supporting traditional customs backed by the power of ancestors, are driven by the power of shame. (Brown makes no reference to majority world contexts. As mentioned above, this review endeavours to translate her book into some majority world contexts.) Vulnerability, which is “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure” is also “the core of all emotions and feelings” and “creativity, Innovation, and learning”, Brown tells us (p33, p187). Her analysis adds, to me, clarification to an already clear need for vulnerability in intercultural relationship. Intercultural missionaries often struggle to win the trust of people they are reaching. Vulnerability, says Brown, is a prerequisite for winning trust (p47). I agree. That is a profound, and very challenging, observation. Brown tells us that vulnerability is a prerequisite for love and for belonging. Those who fear vulnerability, she emphasizes, become cruel, cynical, and critical. The functioning of effective feedback loops requires vulnerability. Brown’s observations ring true. The giving and receiving of feedback can bring extreme relational volatility. While feedback-loops are essential for organisational success, what to one person may be positive feedback, may not be so received by another! Only vulnerability can guarantee feedback effectiveness. Brown is a shame researcher. Her studies of shame took her to analysis of vulnerability. Someone is shamed when their identity is linked to their failings. Missionaries who fear vulnerability fear an appearance of failure in the eyes of their supporters. They fear being enveloped by the very poverty that they supposedly come to resolve. These fears undermine vulnerability. A solution, Brown tells us, is self-compassion. This leads to wholehearted living, which is dependent on having a healthy spirituality, Brown (who is a Christian) tells us. Vulnerability, and the resultant trust by nationals, love, and belonging, can be achieved if missionaries separate their failings from their identity. Then they can be forgiven. ‘Guilt’ is ‘I have failed’. Unlike shame, guilt can be forgiven. The much more destructive shame is ‘I am a failure’, causing someone to give up and disengage (p66). Missionaries who intend to minister over a long term need to learn that God can forgive their failings – they may be guilty of some things, but they need not be ashamed. Brown talks of a gap needing to be filled. The gap is between what we say, and what we do. The gap can be overcome through honesty, which can only arise from a readiness to be vulnerable. Dis-honesty, in this sense, results in withdrawal, through disengagement. Many of Brown’s examples draw on the US educational sector. Teachers shamed when students’ results are too low, disengage from profound upbuilding-relationships with students, in favour of simply passing on information needed in examinations. So also, missionaries being set on achieving the kinds of results recognised by Westerners, especially by donors, pre-empts vulnerable engagement with majority world cultures, that could in the long run be the most innovative and profoundly transformative. Vulnerability, which includes refusal to be victim to shaming mechanisms (considered by Brown to be Gremlins; which should remind us of evil spirits), could transform mission approaches. Such a link, between Brown's writing and potential missionary fruitfulness, should not surprise us: Brown works with profoundly Christian paradigms in all but name, implicitly positioning us in a position where we should become vulnerable to God himself.

Brought this as a cd for in the car....it’s very intense from start to finish,there’s a lot to take in and think about ( I may have been better with the book) I liked the cd for convenience ,I had to listen to each disc a couple of times for it to sink in.All in all good, informative...a lot to learn,so not always easy.

Daring Greatly is a work of genius; a labour of love of the Author, Brenee Brown, who, through searching on her own personal journey, realised that what was happening at home was all connected to the work she was doing as a paid researcher. From that moment on she made the connection between shame, vulnerability, courage and gratitude to be the keys to transformation in the lives we live. What is so compelling about this book is that with every page, I observed the mind challenge every thing that Brown wrote about the human condition and its denial of shame: "no, I am not that person... I am NOT that person. I have no thing to be ashamed about!" But then Brown cites examples from case studies, and twenty years of facts collated from her research, in order to support the contentions that come through her in this book. At this point, the mind has nowhere to go. The mind submits to the fact that this book is not, as so many are in the Self-Development field, an opinion of its author, based on his/her own life experiences, but that this book is based upon hard data, real life human experiences shared over thousands of hours of testimony of personal interviews between the author and volunteers across every socio-economic sector of the United States; of data gathering and processing of questionnaires, to finally be able to write this account of what was found. Thank you, Brenee Brown, for having dedicated - and most probably, sacrificed - so much of yourself, in bringing these profound insights of human behaviour to the conscious awareness of human kind through this book. I know that it has profoundly shifted the perspective of how I see myself, and what is important to me, and most of all, given me the courage to own with conviction, free of the shame, the purpose of what I am here to bring to humanity right now. With eternal love and gratitude, Sister.

Like other readers I strongly suggest you view her TED talks - but this book is an amplification and detailed explanation of the talk - it really enhances what she's saying. First, for those unfamiliar with Brene's work, she is a 'proper' academic, researcher, but working in the less common academic field of studying vulnerablilty and shame. Now before you decide this book isn't for you - just think about some of these things she's discovered. As we get older, wiser and more bruised by life's events - a lot of us try to shut down our feelings of vulnerability so we don't get hurt any more. We also try to comply to society's stereotypes of our gender (these are completely different for men and women - as a woman I thought the social prssure to be thin, pretty and have a perfect home was bad - just read her research on men's straitjacket). The problem is with this, is that we numb all our feelings. So if you don't feel bad, you don't feel good either. She identifies that so many of us believe we can avoid unhappiness by forboding - who hasn't had a moment of 'everything is going well - disaster must be about to strike', rather than accepting that if bad things happen, the missing out on enjoying the preceeding good years won't help? I'm explaining this badly - she does it really well, with honesty, vulnerability and humour. I urge you to try this book - I don't think you will regret it. It will change your perspective on life, your approach to parenting and contributes to a more joyful, less scared and angry middle-years period.

What more can I say than thank you for reminding me who I am and how I should be. You always hear corny tags like love your imperfections but it dies make sense- be genuine above all else and embrace your vulnerabilities and life will never turn against you. I loved the book, perfect seaside read :)

Enjoyed reading

The topics covered in this book are hard to talk about, hard to reason about, which is why reading this book and really leaning in to its teachings is an act of bravery in and of itself. The author is very compassionate about it, but it is still very confronting, and I say that from a place where I have help from a therapist to try and understand those lessons. Today, especially today, in the middle of this social media era, in the heart of this global pandemic, it seems like most of our interactions is driven by shame, as are most of our reactions to events and decisions. This book is very useful to look under the hood and understand what is happening in our hearts and in our minds. Simply enlightening.

I'm so glad I Received the book in good condition which actually was a concern for me. DARING GREATLY by @brenebrown As mentioned on the book cover " DARING GREATLY How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead. The word Vulnerable increased my curiosity to read this book. Being someone who has been criticized for being vulnerable and sensitive since forever thought of reading this book to just feel understood by someone atleast. But this book is a treasure of knowledge and helps you understand much more than I thought. The author has put 12 years of research in this book. No amount of words can express how good this book is and surely a must read for each and everyone hence I would rather best let you all know the content of the book. What it means to dare greatly? Chapter 1- Scarcity : Looking inside our culture of "Never Enough" Chapter 2 - Debunking the Vulnerability myths Chapter 3 - Understanding and combating Shame ( personally found this so helpful ) Chapter 4 - The Vulnerability Armory Chapter 5 - Mind the Gap : Cultivating Change and Closing the Disengagement Divide Chapter 6 - Disruptive Engagement : Daring to Rehumanize Education and Work Chapter 7 - Wholehearted Parenting : Daring to be the Adults We Want Our Children to Be ( this is a must chapter for most of the parents/would be parents it can change the entire way of parenting and built such amazing relation between the parents and the child ) I would just keep ranting that this book is a must read for each and everyone of all age grp and from all walks of life. Whatever role you play ( I'm sure you're playing multiple roles all the time) be it student, parent, professional (could be any), boss, leader you name it, this book will really help you do better and even personally it will help you understand some of your traits come from where (childhood or adolescence) and how to process them and do better for yourself.

The book is great, I mean it’s Brené Brown‘s.🤩 Uncomfortable truths, that’s what makes it even greater.♥️